Beyond the walls

Something I wrote a long time ago

Beyond The Walls

When the time to leave the security of the four walls came, I blindly followed the dictates of my mind. For a while I oscillated, one part of me regretted having to leave when I could have stayed; the other part patted me on the back for having taken such a difficult step. Then one day I woke up to the fact that I could not expect to move forward when I had one step in the past.

There’s a familiarity about the “clang” of school gates when they close behind you for the last time, but I am not here to take a walk down memory lane. I shall leave that to the movies where the clang is more often than not coupled with a “THE END”. What I am here to do is testify that this clang is a beginning too, to tell about beyond the walls …

My mind goes back often to those to the friends of those lovely idyllic days. Loyalty to your class – Unity was all-important then, friends were to die for and it was easy to promise forever. Beyond the walls I found different friends, the hang around when they need something kind, the use and lose kind, the loyal kind, they all came and some of them stayed and each of them left a legacy that molded me into what I am.

You don’t leave behind teachers either. Beyond the walls there is always a twist on the road where you will meet someone who will teach you a new lesson. An urchin girl – with barely enough clothing on to her covered taught me that if you want even a simple piece of can turn into a crown.

School days never come back. They can’t be recreated but inside those walls I learnt the things that will help beyond those very walls. Those walls that we felt grew every year, they represented jail and we likened ourselves to prisoners, each with our own number, but today 146 is like an omen of good to me and it’s presence works towards making or breaking a situation.

Beyond the walls lies a life just waiting to be embraced, new experiences, a stretching of the wings as it were. Learning that you can do it. Depending on yourself. All those races at school that disappointment in the loss, that exhilaration in the win. We’re the same runners, the prize is as important. Only the race is different. We still cry when we lose, are ecstatic in our wins. We still make mistakes.

And when life gets a little to tough to handle, I can always go back into myself…In me, where I carry that magical place “Behind The Walls”.

It was

a hidden tune
I was humming
to myself...

You
drew it out
from
under my breath
onto the open air...

And then closed
your ears to it
there it hangs
poised
with no one
to hear it

~ Rushina

Motherhood

You came along

and ripped open
the curtain
to my soul

I had it
safely hidden
protected, nurtured
and whole

now
its out there
exposed,
vulnurable,
and in control

already
I feel
pieces readying
to part

a revolution
is poised
to take over
my heart...

but
this was
meant to be...
..destiny

the time was right
i was ripe
to give
the positive

to nourish
your path
with bits
of my heart

Rushina

Sand and Stone

write hurts
in sand
so time
may
blow them away

write good deeds
in stone
so
forever
they may stay

In Me I Have a Friend

In me there is a place,
where I am
It is a place
only I know about
One that I have,
always gone to,

One
that has
allowed
me
to be MY friend
when I didn't
HAVE a friend
One that has kept me occupied
Never alone
Even in a crowd...

On relationships…

Nobody goes missing
Nobody dies
It's just that,
your journey,
with one amnother,
Is at an end...

Forever?
For the moment?
Who knows...
The answer,
might be just around the bend...
keep moving
you'll find out...

Rushina

No Maps

I wrote this after my father died. I was with him till exactly 2 minutes before he died. I was not destined to take walk beside him the last two minutes of his life.

No Maps
For a moment,

close your eyes,
Visualize a dessert
a golden emptiness
stretching everywhere...

All across this vastness
a tapestry is woven,
a million different tracks,
moving,
crossing,
parting,
always moving...

Crossroads...
Paths meet,
move together,
sharing a part of their journeys,
giving of themselves,
taking for themselves,

Then the crossroads
Paths seperate,
move on...
richer for the meeting, yes
But,
Other companions
Await...

They have met
for a reason...
most likely,
undefined to either
maybe they will know
now,
one day
maybe never...

Who needs discoveries
to be discovered
or frontiers to me explored
We have this existance to chart
and
there are no maps...

Rushina